Bondage Broken

Dear Friends,

How long are grudges supposed to last for anyway?

Is it till we are tired of the extra pain in our hearts whenever the person walks into the room? Or is it till we are desperate to sleep well and finally get that unnecessary discomfort out of our heads?

Or seriously, are we waiting to realize what we already know that we are defying the number 1 commandment? That we are hurting God? That we have no right?

Either way, this casual form of hatred is fueled by darkness, inspired by an eternity of madness, that slowly waits to kill us in mere seconds…..

So how long is it necessary to prove a point , that “YES!  I will continue to live like my sister does not exist, as though she wasn’t made from the image of God, like my total disgust towards her isn’t an approved form of worship to the devil; the prince of hate, destruction and grudges.”  There is a difference between wisdom and living in death.

How long do I have to lie to myself that I am not at peace with myself, because I have an invisible black book of enemies knitted in my soul, and it keeps growing and growing until my undefined end, when I stand before the throne of God on judgement day, and give Him a 1000 reasons why I just could not repent:


But hell isn’t made for those who have always been wrong, or those who never truly loved God. The truth is, if we are true holders of the cross, we would know how to treat our brothers or sisters first as Christ did when He gave up His all for us;
His money, His Home, His freedom, His privacy, His family, His dignity, His marriage,His food, His clothes, His life, His blood, His sweat, Himself.

So, how much is a grudge really worth? ……………………………

The next time I see those who betray, gossip, lie and persecute me, I will greet them with a warm smile. I will mean all of it, because, like my labeled “enemy”, Christ died shamelessly on the cross for our sins.

Forgiveness is bondage broken.

Psalm 49:13-15     Leviticus 19:17-18    Matthew 25:35    Colossians 3:13   Ephesians 4:31-32

When we visit the homeless.

My visit to Sharing and Caring Hands, a food shelf, was humbling, convicting and a truly immersive learning experience.  Surprisingly, it turned out to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I knew then, that it must have been a divine appointment. I left the food shelf not just physically fed, but with a deep spiritual and emotional satisfaction.

Last Tuesday, I looked around in desperation for any way I could get through this project successfully. The only challenge I was facing was time. As a student who works 3 part-time jobs, I was not expecting to have the pleasure of a 2 hour bus ride. I knew the only day I could truly trust myself to get everything done was Tuesday because, the entire week was meant to be jam-packed with events and preparations for the approaching finals week. I spent so much time panicking on how soon I could finish the assignment, I did not prepare myself mentally or spiritually for the encounters I was about to experience.

Finally at work, I was able to google a nearby food shelf which was meant to open about the same time I got off work. So quickly, I rushed out earlier than usual, with the fear of traffic, and the ignorance of God’s overarching plan over my day. The food shelf happened to be only 6 minutes away from my workplace. I arrived more than 45 minutes early by car, while those who were truly in need walked wearily to the entrance. I kept asking myself insensitively where a parking lot would be at a homeless food shelf that catered for many living under the poverty line.  I cheated by parking in the staff parking lot. I made sure to take off all make up and jewelry so that I could rightfully fit in without any suspicions. I even wore a scarf and painted sadness on my face.

As I was trying to get into the mindset of a homeless person, I was wondering what to expect from an experience like this. I was one of the first people to arrive to the shelter. When I got there, I was trying to figure out where I wanted to sit and with whom. I had to prompt myself once more to make an effort to socialize.  As much as I had tried to disguise myself, I realized that I still could not blend in, what betrayed me even more was my African accent.  I awkwardly sat next to a couple and their male friend, because, the only other person, a woman, had the countenance of someone who wanted to be alone. As soon as I sat down though, I received a dirty look from the woman who was sitting next to a man. I quickly got the cue that I was unwanted, so I left.

I then sat next to the other woman, the lonely old one. For privacy reasons, I will call her Jill. Jill completely ignored me for the first five minutes, but I then had to initiate every conversation with her. She answered with one word answers. Her eyes were tired, and her hair was extremely grey in just the front. Her face was covered with the wrinkles of worry and sadness, and I am glad I saw her smile before I left. She later told me that her husband had just passed away the month before. She said this through smoke burnt lips, broken teeth, and tear stained eyes. At that moment I started noticing how dark  the room was becoming, and there was nothing I could really say to comfort her, because I was slowly slipping to the past of my losses also. We both cried together over past love. The room wreaked of sweat, spit, and drugs, and I started to realize that I was not that  far broken from anyone else in there. I had been there before, even if it was my first time there.

Then walked in Emma, a resilient Ecuadorean woman with her baby carriage. I mention that because she was so proud to be from her country. She burst into the middle of the line, cutting right in front of Jill and I . At that point I was too bummed out to care about the extra minute of waiting I endured for my food, besides I was trying to fit in. But she had so much life, and so much to say. She told us about the love of Jesus Christ and how He had saved her from that dark place that everyone seemed to be slipping into. She sang out loud and quoted many uplifting verses. She poured her motherly love on us. Soon a sermon erupted from the midst of the long food line. She was the one who made Jill smile again. I’m glad she came when she did. There was only so much my melancholic temperament could do for Jill.

The food was served by teenagers. They were very kind and patient to us. They treated us like we mattered. One of them offered to hold and serve Emma’s plate, while she attended to the baby. Even though there were arguments and struggles between some of the men in the room, the volunteers were different. They were neutral observers, just like me, but like Emma, they gave a light to the entire room, not to mention the food they served was amazing. We had barbeque ribs, and fries with a pickle, and brownies, with dapples and ice cream. It was really sweet and I actually enjoyed myself. It felt like a family dinner, with Jill helping herself to seconds and thirds, and Emma seriously preaching to everyone on the table. It was amazing. Sadly, there were grown men next to us, who were discussing how they were going to use their monthly earnings from begging to buy more drugs. Some people hid the food in compartments and kept going for more.

The volunteers were friendly and humble and offered more food to their guests. We all said a prayer together before we ate. This was led by the volunteers. However, they did not join us for dinner. In general, everyone was thankful for the food, especially since they knew it cost them nothing and they could always come back for more. It was somehow hard for me to accept that, because I know that unlike everyone else in the room, even though I came for food, I left with the bread of life, and an empty pockets. That day, I made a friend, two in fact. I learnt that regardless of what we see on the table, God’s love is always made available for us, if we can only see beyond our basic earthly needs, he will refresh and sustain us. Us humans, we have a hunger that not even a loved one or food can satisfy. I learnt more than anything that like everyone else in the room, I was wounded somehow or broken, and my brokenness could only be mended by Jesus. I was truly grateful for this experience and the free food shared with brothers and sisters in Christ.


  • 1 Peter 1:6-7


“And when I come to die, Oh when I come to die, Oh when I come to die, Give me Jesus.”

Huh…. when you now know but didn’t know You enough to have known. You know?

The Inevitable Itch.

Hello God,

I know I could be doing so many other “productive” things (according to worldly standards) with my time, but this is like fruitful fuel for my soul. It is at that point of realization when you really want to blow up someone’s phone to tell them a super long story of how you came to a certain feeling, but alas, “aint no body got time for that”.
But that’s why I love You; You are always available for any convention. And You move mountains.

So… I remember that one time, my family was on a vacation in Kumasi, and we spent the time visiting relative after relative. It was so much fun! No it wasn’t. My brother and I had practically gotten to that point of gnashing our teeth, wishing we had stayed at home in Accra. Oh how social, respectful children we were back then. I remember him say, “if one more person asks me what I am going to do when I grow up, I will just say beggar. Ah! we’re tired!” We were laughing hard in the back seat. I didn’t know he was serious ooh….. hmmm.

Then we went to the next house! *rolling on the floor in laughter* … It was like a movie. The old men asked us both what we wanted to do when we grow up – our little sister was too young to talk – I went along with my medical doctor swag. But then when it got to Naynz , he straight up said “I want to be a ….”. And everyone there including my parents were super confused. They were meant to be showcasing us, but it seemed the tables had turned .
“You want to be what?”
The old men asked again, “you mean like the burger we eat?”.

“No, no,” my brother replied blankly, ” like beggar on the streets.” My parents were both in shock. At the point I started hearing sirens in my head.. like the world had completely slowed down. And laughter came out of my mouth like vomit I couldn’t hold down. Then my mother gave me the dirtiest look; the infamous mum stare that, like fiery rays, can cut through your heart and remind you what time it is and who gave birth to you? At that moment I knew that somewhere in the universe, like a basketball, a spanking was slowly spinning toward one of us. Either that or we were both going to be gingered…HARD. So like clockwork, I choked into silence.

I thought of this just now because I know that sometimes in life, there are some forces in our own minds, that causes us to act very irrationally, especially when we are convinced that we are right… Like when I stupidly threw a stick at the chief and my father had to slaughter a sheep. But that’s another story, same vacation though.
Don’t judge me, I was trying to save my father from potential bankruptcy.

Fast forward to 2017, I wasted an entire semester on procrastination and depression. I chose to sleep through the midnight deadline of a paper which took me only 45 minutes to write. Then my reliable computer decided to freeze  on me.
This lateness, caused by performance anxiety, came at a cost of a letter grade; an A-.
I was furious. Angry…. with the devil? The devil has suffered from the blame and excuses that we as believers tend to assign for our lack of faith. Not really! Every act of fear comes from a belief that was sown and watered from somewhere.
The itch.

Just the other day, at a family lunch, my little cousin took a kebab stick and asked passionately if he could burst the giant pimple on the side of my face. Everyone was appalled, but I know he really wanted to set me free from a lifetime of awkward stares, and luckily children barely have  social filters. So unlike my brother and I, he got away with it.

What all these scenarios make me think of is the fact that there is always something unseen, unheard or unwritten that gives us an itch and make us act inappropriately in terms of social norms. I could never blame my brother for that cheeky answer back then, because we were both bored and tired of the same question over and over again. A question that can cause some form of anxiety or stress on a nice holiday, can easily provoke a harsh or rude answer. This becomes an itch. We all have that one thing that makes us itch. Like a psychological or spiritual button that brings up a different side of us.

I believe that before anyone decides to label or diagnose any acts of passion or fear as a behavioral disorder or form of deviance, it is important that we address these things to you, Lord, because you are the divine manufacturer, and only You can truly prescribe a cure for our weaknesses and malfunctions.

Growing up, I found myself always tilting to the left, because that tittle mountain of flesh – insecurity – always sat heavily on my shoulder.  It was more than just a mountain, a foe or abnormal growth, or a keloid. Insecurity, was the spirit that clouded my thoughts and made me believe that this little growth was bigger than life and must impact all my thoughts, moments, and memories. It affected me. It dictated what I did, the clothes I wore and how I acted at all times. It was like the imaginary cockroach underneath my armpits … it weighed me down and cost me most of the freedom of my youth. I was disgusted by myself, angry with You. At that moment the dark spirit that accompanied that mass of growth, became my god.

“Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “All is vanity.” – Ecclesiastes 12:8

Years later, countless failed or pending relationships later, surgeries later, I have now been able to identify that this one little itch that always made me feel ugly and weird about myself was never the extra growth of skin or blood clots on my shoulder, or face. No.  Today, I now label that thing as the spirit of insecurity, among other things that I am and will continue to bind and overcome by the grace of God that helps me see that I was made in Your own image as Your daughter, and I have a divine purpose to fulfill regardless of what or who defines me or regards me as more of less of a person.

Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed, or the bowl is broken, or the pitcher shattered at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the well.
Then dust will return to the earth as it was, and the spirit will return to the God who gave it.
– Ecclesiastes 12:6-7

We are not just people, we are spirits, and whatever we give power to dominate over our thoughts and actions, can become a god and a stronghold. That’s what demons are known best for. There’s no reason to be angry, when you finally realize what the itch was put there for. It’s their job. To torment and harass. Ours is to trust in God and overcome. That moment I realized it was never me, but the sin that covers this world and the eyes of many, I finally decided it was time to be free.  Thank you God for creating me, and permitting these hardships to occur so that I could be stronger enough to be what You created me to be: Redeemed.

“Assuredly , I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
-Mathew 18:18




Breaking Through Mirrors and Breakthroughs.

Let’s talk about the mountains on my body. The tiny boils of fire that the enemy uses to eat away at my soul. The first one was fearful isolation.

When I’m dead to this world #anotherbullet

Dear God,

I am writing these lamentations to You because I’m tired. I’ve complained to my mother, my family has been ashamed of me, random mad men on the bus have teased and insulted me, ex boyfriends have gagged at me…surgeries didn’t work. I’ve failed too many exams obsessing over the wrong anxieties and now my co workers probably think there’s something wrong with me because I’ve made a mountain out of the dirt inside of me. I’ve spent majority of my life – 25 years – being angry and disgusted by the design that You made me to be, that You allowed me to become. So I’m writing a complaint to the manufacturer of my soul. I know You can fix this broken vessel, because I’ve tried everything, and no one, none of these people, no one could save me from the pit I’m drowning in, not even myself. So this is me, pleading, answer me, please.

I spend most of my days trying to lift my head up …. but then the weight of guilt and pain forces me to look down so that my head covers that invisible necklace that suffocates and burns into my neck and spine. It’s been choking my life, yet spelling the words “U-G-L-Y, You ain’t got no alibi”, so how can I even see You? The truth is I have 5 imaginary dwarfs trying to suck holes into my soul. Though small, they appear loud. Those little leeches, accompany tiny mountains. Those mountains, whoever sent them are reminders of dark spirits. And they try to remind me of their presence everyday, and even when I toss in my sleep. I’ve noticed how much for a while, these thorns in my flesh have managed to dictate my posture, how I walk, my lack of eye contact, the constant state of self torture and hate, and even bigger, the life long hindrance to fulfilling my true calling and destiny. I can barely find myself, when I’m constantly hurting from these growing scars. I NEED YOUR HELP!

I laughed at the verse of the day Ephesians 2:10; “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” I ask You, Lord, what can do you with someone who is so broken that whenever they look into someone else’s eyes all they see is their own dysfunction. Why do I never feel like I’m good enough to wear that dress, to go to that one party, to talk to that one person, to interview for that job. I walk to the state fair and people look at me like the walking freak display, because I have allowed myself to wear that chain around my neck. So I keep my head down, but You say I’m Your workmanship. For what purpose Lord? Will You always be the Only one, to love me for who I am? Is that why You allowed me to be and look this way?

Let’s talk about the mountains on my body. The tiny boils of fire that the enemy uses to eat away at my soul. The first one was fearful isolation. Growing from my lack of trusting others especially those closest to me, I hid even the most painful cuts, and this grew into layers of layers of lies and frustration. I was always hiding. I trusted  no one. Bad things have happened. People have taken advantage of me. Family have mistreated me. Friends have misused me. Siblings have mishandled me. But I was made to think it was normal. By the time I was 7, I was shivering from nightmares, drownings, beatings, starvings, touchings, and a life too dim to see Your light. Then I saw a sunflower. The weirdest plant, with the happiest glow. Like me, it was skinny, and had a big head, but more hair, especially in the middle. It made me smile. Still, that yellow pierces through my thoughts. It was too beautiful to wonder who loved me, and who loved me not. I think that was You smiling at me; me, my mother’s darker child.

This is a working progress of faith. To be continued…………..


Overcoming Fear and Accepting God’s hand.

Overcoming fear and accepting God’s hand through the trials.

I’m not new to this suffering. Neither is Jesus. Lately so much has been happening … riots, floods, missile launches, dirty politics…. my own weaknesses and imperfection. It’s so easy to give up and question God, like He doesn’t know what He is doing, like He is not the author and vindicator of everything that is good, like he didn’t make me fearful and wonderful to fulfill His true divine purposes for my life.

The world might raise me to hate who I am because the canal mind cannot begin to understand or discern who I  was made to be. I am better than what anyone can guess or calculate about me, because the manufacturer of my soul, God, is the only one who can rate my beauty, my worth and my potential. I am made to work for His divine purpose and His heavenly Kingdom. Forget this fallen world. Remembering God in these last days will make a difference.


Psalm 11

For the director of music. Of David.

In the Lord I take refuge.
    How then can you say to me:
    “Flee like a bird to your mountain.
For look, the wicked bend their bows;
    they set their arrows against the strings
to shoot from the shadows
    at the upright in heart.
When the foundations are being destroyed,
    what can the righteous do?”

The Lord is in his holy temple;
    the Lord is on his heavenly throne.
He observes everyone on earth;
    his eyes examine them.
The Lord examines the righteous,
    but the wicked, those who love violence,
    he hates with a passion.
On the wicked he will rain
    fiery coals and burning sulfur;
    a scorching wind will be their lot.

For the Lord is righteous,
    he loves justice;
    the upright will see his face.



The Honeymoon phase


A man’s kiss, a man’s clutch

A man can drive you crazy

with a single touch.

When he laughs, when he yawns,

You fight for his affection,

silly little pawns.

He makes you think he is there whenever

Truth is you rush to his feet

good or bad weather.

When he is done with you, your soul burns like hell.

Foolishly crying, you fell for his little spell.

Always there to run to his every call.

but never there to catch you when you fall.

Always the one to give

but you never receive.

How long before you realize

you’ve all been deceived.

Woman wake up! When will you see?

A few sweet words from his mouth

has set your heart free.

Time and time again, your mind will linger.

Thinking of the passion,

still wrapped around his finger.

He does not feel the same way, his heart is cold.

You will be wise if you heed these words you’ve been told.

But don’t be fooled, that is not all there is to a man.

When he loves you, he will do all that he can.

When he thinks of you, nothing else can be true

But this kind of love springs

But once in a blue moon.

Holding on to him is like grasping on to sand. 

It might take us forever before we understand

Some of you might wonder how

this heartless man came to be.

Ladies, look around you,

for the monsters creator

is a she.


Whoredom, wine, and new wine, which take away the understanding. – Hosea 4:11

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. – 1 Corinthians 6:18

But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. – Matthew 5:28

Reviewing God is a Match Maker

Even in the ancient days, when Abraham sent out his servant to find a suitable wife for his son Isaac, there were certain standards of beauty that needed to be fulfilled, even in a desert.  On my case study, God is a Matchmaker, Derek Prince reveals how God has a plan for us, and the people we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with.

Before any of us embarks on the unending journey of marriage, it is important to remember that as Christians, God has created us to be the salt and light of this Earth, and so we should act as such; by bringing flavor and spreading the light of the Holy Spirit amongst those living in darkness. Consequently, we are commanded not to be yoked together with unbelievers, (2 Cor. 6:14-15). Today we live in a society where everyone is too thirsty trying to quench their worldly wants and desires: sex, drugs, money, family, pets and cars. It’s all a roaring demand of wishes that keeps overwhelming us until we finally realize that, all our wants and needs are insatiable, but yet, the truth of our main purpose in life remains hidden and clouded in our thirst to be “happy”.
So often we search for new forms of excitement and fruitless trends, we lose sight of the fact that we’ve always had enough, and that is God.

The woman at the well was married 4 times but was still lonely and incomplete, because in life we need God to make us whole. No one is seriously praying for a young man or woman with too many stress wrinkles, stretch marks and barely any hair.
No! Everyone wants the best for themselves, just like when God preserves the better for His children: those who love and serve Him. Same way, God is not going to present you to any potential life partner when you still haven’t cleaned up your act, the cobwebs and your weaknesses. So let’s thank God when He spares you from receiving the same headache also. There are several chapters in life that a man and a woman have to experience before actually being strongly prepared for marriage.
Yes girls. It takes more than a face full of paint and a pretty dress to prepare anyone’s mind and soul for the blessing of bonding that is about to take place.

A drunkard and his naive mistress, a workaholic and his teenage wife, a priest and his sister. Only God can predict what effect any of these combinations could have. And yet these scenarios all exist. Imagine if any of these three parties came together in an effort to co-exist; a marriage. If It is said that children are the fruits of marriage, imagine how sinfully rooted the offspring of these marriages will be. Marriages or even conception that is built on any sinfully shaky foundation, usually leads to homes of neglect, rape, abuse or even madness.  If only this fallen world had a more clear-cut distinction between marriage and holy matrimony. It seems like everyone is finding some form of convenience by getting married these days.

Everyone, regardless of who we are, desires to have a deep intimate connection with something or someone. At the end of the day, we all want to belong, and find a stable place in this puzzle we call life. Either it is the girl in the choir who sings and jumps around joyfully, and as a result is able to shed off weights of boredom and burden, or the sassy stripper who chooses to exploit her beauty and sexuality while men gag lustfully over her flexibility. Keep in mind that both of these women are in extraordinarily great shape, and are probably blessed with good genes and assets. So who do you think God smiles on the most? Which of these women are bearing enough fruit to prepare themselves toward completion for holy matrimony?

Most great blessings usually manifest from small responsibilities. Remember when Isaac blessed Jacob greatly for serving him a pot of soup? Similarly, God is also watching our little acts of service to Him. This is how we inherit great gifts and blessings from Him. God needs to know that you can be faithful and able to keep His Kingdom in shape, so He can also bless you with a dwelling place of your own.
In Derek Prince’s words, “ I found myself surrounded by barrenness, both natural and spiritual. My one unfailing source of strength was my Bible, which I read through several times. But in spite of the barrenness all around, I felt that God was beginning to work out His plan in my life… (p.27)”  I agree with Dr. Pierce, sometimes a place of isolation and trials like the desert can bring you closer to God in a way that will baffle any human mind. It is more rewarding to invest in the heavens when going through the pains of a long and dry waiting period. Like most great men of God, our breakthroughs in life usually manifest after we conquer the desert period. These are the actions that lead to a successful marriage.

Pray, understand what a godly marriage is, and reflect on yourselves in the spirit before embarking on this journey. Even before Derek Prince intended to marry his second wife Ruth, he had to confide in his friends, a small community of preachers, before he was able to determine if God was approving of his relationship with Ruth. After the death of Lydia, Derek’s first wife, the revelation of who Derek’s second life partner was very profound and prophetic. Even as prophet, after Derek had seen his potential wife in his dreams and then in person, he still had to seek some form of godly council from other servants of God before he could finally decide if this marriage was in line with what God had destined for his life.

Finally Derek Prince reminds us to be “rest assured, then: Obedience to God’s word will keep you in the path that leads to the  marriage He has planned for you (p.77)”. In order to be prepared for marriage, one must have dedicated his or her life to serving and loving God. Even though God had already prophetically revealed the identity of his new wife to Derek Prince, he still knew that there was some work to be done before establishing any actions towards his prophecy. It is through these steps that we will randomly yet divinely bump into our future spouses. Derek Prince provided a few steps to describe the journey that leads to holy matrimony. And it all starts with:

  1. Obeying God’s word – As long as we practice obedience to God’s word in every situation, we will never stray from the path He has appointed for us. “Your light is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (Psalm 119.:105)


  1. Walking in fellowship – Obedience to God naturally brings Christians together and enables them to relate to one another. If there is something you feel pushed to do in God’s house, it is best to do it earlier than later in order to move in line with your destiny through your blessings. Fellowship with other believers is essential to success and progress in the Christian life. The opposite is also true. “ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” (1John 1:7)


  1. Being led by the Spirit – “Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God” (Romans 8:14). Many Christians who are born again in the Holy Spirit, have never learn to be led by Him. Consequently they never grow to true spiritual maturity, or find God’s fullest plan for their lives.


  1. Guarding your heart – Be continually watchful, first of all, concerning what you allow into your heart. With the knowledge that in our contemporary culture, young people in particular are constantly bombarded by images and influences that undermine the biblical standards of sex and marriage (p.83). “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).


  1. Waiting! – “Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him” (Isaiah 64:4). Be prepared to wait! And psych yourself up to enjoy it. God acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. This is one of those areas in which each of us have experienced or are yet to experience the great matchmaker that God is. If He unites us quickly with our appointed mates, then we praise Him. If He requires us to wait, we should praise him just the same. God deals with each of us according to His knowledge of us, and according to His special plan for each life.


  1. Seeking Godly counsel – A friend of mine once told me that love and marriage was like building a sky scraper. The deeper and stronger the foundation, the higher the building will go. It is very important for any couple to seek the right form of counseling and blessing from parents or guardians, before getting married. “The way of truth seem right to them, but the wise listen to advice”( Proverbs 12:15). “ A fool spurns a parent’s discipline , but whoever heeds correction shows prudence”(Proverbs 15:5). This is when one should consult the wisdom of God through reading the Bible and by talking to men of God. It is also a mark of wisdom and humility to seek counsel from older people who have achieved success in the areas of life where you need guidance (p.86).


  1. Seeking God’s favor – “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). If you want the Lord to give you the kind of mate you need, there is one thing you must do above all things: You must diligently cultivate the Lord’s favor, and seek Him. The Father’s satisfaction must be your highest ambition. Even King Saul stumbled on his anointing to be king by searching out for his father’s donkeys. You might never be able find the right man or woman by going hunting, but when we put our Father’s needs first, everything else, including our pleasures, becomes available to us.


It is obvious, one has to be a Proverbs 31 man or woman before he or her can even meet “the one”.  Some of you might disagree, but hear me out. As Prophet Gideon defines, a weed is any plant or photosynthesizing organism that has no clearly found purpose. It still exists, it transforms sunlight and carbon dioxide, it is probably even the cure for many serious world threatening diseases, but because and until some confused scientist in Moscow uncovers this world-changing secret, it will always be stepped on and known as a useless weed; a tiny tree that has been cursed by achieving nothing, and so withers away fruitlessly with no honor or memory.
A weed.
This is how most Christians appear spiritually and physically in this world until their true God given purpose is revealed to them. Have you discovered your God-given purpose? And if so, do you know that fulfilling that purpose will naturally result in you bearing the spiritual and physical fruit that you need to become whole? Do you know It is only when God has made you whole and complete in the Spirit that one can confidently walk towards a life of marriage without doubt or fear?…
Until then, you’re wasting your time living as a weed that would bear no fruit for any man or woman.

Beloved, you need to start by bearing fruit for God. As Derek Prince says, “We might not be able to see the path that Christianity is taking us, but we can rest assured that in God’s time, it will bring us out to the fulfillment of His plan for our lives. ” As long as we make it a point to seek His divine favor.